15 Painfully Awkward Things That Will Never Cease To Be Awkward

11:48 PM Wild Night In 7 Comments

A friend once told me that things aren't awkward until you acknowledge that they are awkward. That friend is also completely full of shit. As someone who can rattle off 10 awkward social interactions to every flawless one I've had, the struggle of successfully interacting with other human beings is very real. And though some awkwardness might be unique (Anyone else ever talk about how terrible a piece of writing was to your boss before realizing she was the one who wrote it?) there are still some moments of awkwardness that we've all experienced that, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not, will always be painful.

Lingering In A Conversation

Knowing when a conversation is over is an art - one that most (mainly me) have not mastered. There is nothing worse than just lingering there when the conversation is done or when someone is clearly busy.  Watch as you break out in hives wishing your legs would just walk away as you stand there staring at each other for what seems like a lifetime. Bonus points if one of you decides to start a new conversation topic just as the other says "Well, see you later."

Nodding "Yes" To Something You Didn't Hear

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Once you lock yourself into absentmindedly agreeing to things in a conversation that you are not paying attention to, there is no turning back when your yeah's and mmhmm's actually mean something.
"Oh you ARE interested in joining my church? Cool see you Sunday!" 
"wait...what?"

Answering Something That Wasn't Directed At You

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Whether it's answering someone who is taking a phone call in the bathroom stall next to you or really misreading which of the people in the room a person is talking to, answering something and then having the person point out that they weren't talking to you will make you want to jump into traffic.

Getting Caught Staring

Oh let's have a moment of silence for those instances when you are spaced out and come back to focus to realize that you are just straight up staring at another person who is looking back at you. The best way to really round this one out is to just keep staring in wide-eyed horror or to try to play it off in an over the top fashion. OMG is there is a fly in here?!

Providing An Inappropriate Response To A Question

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"Have a good day!"
"You're welcome!"
*Please lightening just strike me now*

Playing Music Without Headphones

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True Story: Pandora once started playing Pitbull from my phone while in a college lecture class like it had a life of its own and wanted to expose my terrible taste in music to my classmates. I just could not with the awkwardness and got up and left in the middle of class. Moral of the story, it doesn't matter if you have great taste in music or not, it's awful to let the world hear your music when you aren't expecting it.

When A Friend Leaves You Alone With Their Other Friend

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Sure, you could be having a grand ol' time with your mutual friend there but once they get up to leave the room, it's like the energy immediately changes and you are forced to just sit there in silence nodding and smiling, attempting to ask minor details about each other and constantly checking the door for when your buffer will return.

Replying "You Too!" To A Waiter or Movie Usher

*Insert Face In Palm*

Running Out of Small Talk

Small talk is the absolute worst. There are only so many things you can say about the weather, the day of the week and whatever other boring topics you can think of exchanging with an acquaintance. Of course, it's when the small talk is done and you guys are stuck in a confined space with no place to escape that time seems to stand still imprisoning you in a cloud of awkwardness.

Entering The Circle Of "How Are You"

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Want to enter small talk hell? Enter into a conversation that goes a little something like this:

"Hey how are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"Doing well. You?"
*Maybe if one of us actually answers that we are doing terrible, this might end?*

Pretending To Not Notice Someone Until They Are An Appropriate Distance Away 

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We've all been there. You see someone in the hallway but they are too far away to actually greet so you have to awkwardly stare at the floor until you've finally reached them so you can just pop your head up and say "hey!" as if you are just now noticing them.

Failing At A High Five

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Honestly, who even gives high-fives when you aren't playing a sport? You totally are setting yourself up for awkwardness by initiating one in an office or normal social setting. Keep it to yourself, bro.

Calling Someone's Name And They Don't Hear You